发信人: pathodream (天涯饱看山), 信区: MedicalCareer
标 题: Re: 关于interview 与match 的点点滴滴( new updated 10/31)
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Wed Nov 5 10:27:44 2014, 美东)
的准备。 把最好的部分转到这里。 值得记住每一个字：
A Quick Guide to Gaining Confidence When You Socialize
By Leo Babauta
I’m a shy person by nature, not a natural extrovert and definitely not
comfortable in large groups of people. So if you’re like me at all, then
this guide is for you. I’ve had to learn to be more confident in social
situations, and it hasn’t exactly been easy. But some things I’ve learned
how to do over the years:
1. Introduce myself to new people and quickly find common ground.
2. Be semi-comfortable in a party where I don’t know most of the people.
3. Be myself, or some version of that, rather than trying to impress
4. Speak in front of a crowd of strangers (not comfortably, but I do OK).
5. Talk comfortably one-on-one or in a small group, and not worry too
much about whether people will like me.
6. Make fairly authentic friendships with just a handful of deeper
How to Gain Confidence
OK, here’s what I’ve found helpful:
1. No one is free of self-doubts when it comes to socializing. They just
seem more confident, but the self-doubts are there.
2. If you try to be yourself, instead of impressing people, you can’t
fail. Of course, there’s no single version of “yourself” — you’re a
wide range of different selves, and which side you choose to show is up to
3. But don’t be afraid to show the faults, the mistakes, the
embarrassing moments, because sharing vulnerabilities makes people feel that
you’re more authentic, and they trust you more.
4. Trust is much more important than impressing people.
5. Assume the other person has good intentions. Assume there’s a
reasonable explanation for how they’re acting, rather than assuming bad
6. Confidence comes with practice. So practice even if you’re not
7. The best way to practice a lot is to have fun when you practice. Play
games with people — logic puzzles, group games, quizzes. Play a game with
yourself, by seeing what kind of mnemonic devices you can come up with to
remember people’s names (picture them as an animal or funny object related
to their name?), or challenging yourself to see how long you can listen
without thinking of what you want to say next.
8. Listen, and be curious.
9. Admit when you’re uncomfortable, and laugh about it. I’ve found this
to be disarming — I say, “I’m not good at meeting new people, so feel
free to laugh at me if I mess up.” I also admit that I’m horrible at
remembering names, so I tell them I’m going to say their name a few times
to remember it. And admit that I’ll probably forget it anyway!
10. Try to find ways to go beyond the surface. Talking about your jobs
and the weather are great, but what motivates the person? What drives them
to get up out of bed? What are they passionate about? What are they afraid
of? What embarrasses them? Be curious!
11. Smile, and look them in the eye.
12. Use their reactions to gauge interest rather than just talking.
13. When you find yourself freezing up from fear, turn away from the
thing you are imagining that you’re afraid of, and turn toward the present
moment — see how your body is feeling, notice the things around you, pay
attention to people’s faces.
14. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” The worst
thing is usually that the other person won’t like you, which isn’t the end
of the world. Your life isn’t worse if someone doesn’t like you, and is
better if you make a friend, so the upside of interacting is much bigger
than the downside.
This is just a start, of course, and you’ll find strategies that work best
for you. But practice these ideas in semi-uncomfortable situations with
people, and you’ll get good at them and gain the confidence you’re seeking.
※ 修改:·pathodream 於 Nov 5 10:30:29 2014 修改本文·[FROM: 162.]